Can we just start with that yesterday was a strange day? Don't get me wrong, a lot of the days here in Hazelle are strange, but this one moved to the top of the dune. Most people have heard of me. I'm Apple. I sometimes work at the Vulgar Camel. When it gets busy, I clear tables and slap the men's hands that want to take something no one is offering. Buford says I'm too. young. I say I don't want to, so it is a moot point.

I'm standing at the Camel, deciding if I want a smoke or not. Another thing that Buford likes to do is tell me things I can and cannot do because I'm too young. I'm 245 years old, he doesn't have underwear older than I am. I let him have his delusions. Anyway.

I'm standing outside the Camel and a cat walks up, a cat walks up. It talks. The first thing I do is, of course, look at my fag and I see it isn't even lit and I don't think I'm getting a contact high. Sniff the air quickly and I smell nothing. I drink the water I got myself, so no one snuck me anything. So, I'm hallucinating for some other reason.

Those two idiots, Mutter and Jeffers, interrogate the cat, and it's clear that they don't can't tell their ass from a donkey. They let him pass; I think they feel they must be hallucinating too. Or maybe it is some Bast holiday or something and people are dressing up as their favorite cat or something.

Weird thing 1.

Next weird thing. A red dragonborn walks up, and it has a monkey on its back. This is where I'm sure I'm on something. I mean, wouldn't the dragonborn eat the monkey the first chance it gets? The dragonborn is smaller than most and right there, right then, it does a magic spell in front of Mutter and Jeffers. They go crazy, arrest the dragonborn and take it down towards Dustina's place. A lot of yelling, mainly by the dragonborn, that it did nothing wrong. It's a Bard, and how bards do this kind of stuff.

I kinda lost sight of the cat at this point. I'm focused on the dragonborn now.

Now at this same time I'm told by Usem Bistum, one of my wannabe late night customers, haven't said yes, probably won't, his wife is a good person, and I don't want her mad at me just because her husband wants to play 'hide the dragon' with me. Usem says that an elf, her name is Sandy, weird right? Sandy the elf? Anyway, Usem saw this elf talking to that whack Petatan, that guy who says he is the long-lost emperor or something, now that guy is smoking something good.

Anyway, Sandy talks to Usem and when all the crazy is done, Dustina names her a judge because she is a scrivener. I had to ask someone what a scrivener even WAS. Something about papers seems fine to me, so just remember that when we get to the end, Dustina makes Sandy the judge.

My brain is already hurting. So the crazy continues. I had to move down to Gramacon's place, the Desert Sands Transport Company. He has a little balcony that overlooks the street and it gave me a better view down to the Bit and Bridle. All it cost me was letting Gam look down my shirt. I can't say I care. Are you are going to see are the bandages I used to wrap my chest and some scars. If that turns you on, so be it. Anyway.

I have a pretty good view of the goings on now. I can see all the way to that potion shop that the woman Pru bought. She is strange too. The whole town has gone weird. It was a one-story when Maagia owned it. Now that Pru does, it is suddenly two stories tall, overnight. Tell me that isn't weird. You can't.

I can't hear everything. All I can tell you is that the red dragonborn looked like he cast a spell. A couple of them, one of them, was definitely 'sleep' because Nhardun, Malvid and their mom, Culhimal Khudi, all went to sleep. I saw the other brother Malvid come out of the potion shop and run down towards his mom. The potion maker Pru got involved, and she threw a potion bottle at the Khudis, missed and a web sprouted in the street. Strange. The sleep spell also put to sleep old Arundel, the Khudi's horse. I later learned the horse died from hitting its head too hard on a rock in the 'Bit and Bridle' yard. Now the two fake guards, Mutters and Jeffers, get involved and there is more shouting and finger pointing.

Now I couldn't believe this. Another Dragonborn shows up, this time a WHITE one. Where do these freaks come from? No dragonborn anywhere for a century and two on the same day. Strange I'm telling you. She had a companion, a bit ole human guy, on a horse too, not Arundel, I don't think he was going to stud his horse to Arundel cause that would have for certain killed her. I saw he did a lot of shouting and gesturing with this enormous axe. I mean, this mofo could have taken out a 200 hundred-year-old tree with one blow.

With people being put to sleep, I don't think anyone dies, well, except for old Arundel. That was a shame. She was a nice horse, if not ancient. This is where Sandra the Elf Scrivener gets into it. Oh right, I did almost forget, another Bard, I never caught her name, someone said here name was Sandy too, then someone else said her name was Isssandy, then someone else said no it was Joan. So, it was one of them.

Dustina finally got off her butt and came outside and appointed that elf I was talking about as a judge. I don't know why Dustine didn't just take it on. Isn't that her job or something already? The judge, Sandy, imposed a fine of 500 gold pieces on the red dragonborn. He didn't have it, so she took all his money, minus a little like 5 gold, to someone. I couldn't hear who, and it looked like some of the gold went to Culihmal Khudi for the dead horse, Arundel.

Everyone went back to their houses and hovels, the excitement over when Dustina told the strangers in town; The cat guy, the sleep bard, yeah all his spells were with songs, the white dragonborn, I heard later that he is some sort of hero to the other white dragonborn, like I know what that means, the big barbarian guy with the axe, he likes that axe, the judge, and the other bard, she did some healing on someone, I couldn't see who, all I heard was their hangnail healed, again, strange. That this wasn't the end of it, no.

They were to escort Mutters and Jeffers and the three others from the other side of town out of town. The town didn't need them and to go. They weren't happy about it. I saw the group come back, and they looked roughed up, but by the way there were talking to one another, I'm pretty sure we won't be seeing the likes of Mutters and Jeffers or their ilk anymore.

Now I don't know what was happening down at the graveyard. I'm going to have to ask someone about that. I saw a proclamation up where Prints Carolis Petatan, heir of the Petal Throne and the Admiral of the Invisible Fleet had claimed all of Hazelle for himself and 'The Great Kingdom'. Dustina told anyone who asked that Carolis could go pound sand with his proclamation.

Well, that is all for now. I'm going to go grab a drink and a smoke.

-- Apple.